The Daily Schmear
(1st Edition)
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Ed. Note) Welcome to this latest edition of the Daily Schmear.......our little Sheepshead Newsletter. Please feel free to submit anything you feel would be of interest to our many readers. Any anecdotes, interesting stories or subjects you feel require further discussion will be considered. However, as Editor of the Daily Schmear, I reserve the right to throw out any submissions that would require me to perform a sexual function upon myself or otherwise debase the office I hold so dear. Also, kindly refrain from suggesting that I shove any portion of my anatomy up any other portion of my anatomy.
Thank you.
Signed: Phil Hunt, Editor in Chief
(the silverfox)
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Before we go any further, I would like to assure you that the Cyber Legend that has been going around Yahoo is indeed true. I did go alone with Jack of Diamond high, and I did make it. As all of you know, I will always go alone with solid trump, and my ultimate goal is to make it with Ace of Diamonds high. It will happen, mark my words. (By the way, concerning my little seven of diamonds lead, the last time I saw more queens expire, Henry the VIII was on the throne.)
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Rule # 1 If not the partner, always lead the called suite.
(Note: there are no exceptions to this rule)
Rule # 2 If not the partner, always cut the called suite whenever possible.
(Note: again, there are no exceptions to this rule)
Rule # 3 If not the partner, do not lead trump back to the picker.
(Note: there are obvious exceptions to this rule, which Ill leave you to figure out for
yourselves.)
Rule #4 If not the partner, always schmear to your partners on a taken trick.
(Note: see above)
Rule #5 If partner, always lead trump back to the picker.
(Note: obvious exceptions, which require no explanations)
Rule #6 If not partner, and you do not have the called suite, lead long to and short through.
(Note: more about this later)
Rule # 7 If you picked, never lead your own called suite.
(Note: there may be exceptions, but I cant think of any)
Rule #8 If partner, never lead the called Ace.
(Note: again, obvious exceptions.)
Rule #9 If picker, never take a trick your partner has already taken.
(Note: too many exceptions to discuss)
Rule #10 If not partner, never overtrump a trick owned by your partners.
(Note: What, do I have to draw you a picture??)
Naturally, there are countless other rules which each of us hold dear, but the above are rules that, when broken, will get you booted off most tables in Yahoo.
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(Ed. Note: All of the above rules pertain to Pick a Partner. Each of the other games, i.e., Jack of Diamonds partner, three handed, cutthroat and others, will not be discussed in this newsletter and rules for these games can be obtained by sending me a self-addressed envelope containing large denominations of cash and a sharpener for my crayons.)
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